Stuff You Don't Need: Ostrich Pillow

I ignored the Ostrich Pillow for a long time, because, well, it’s ridiculous. Just look at it. But it keeps showing up on lists of things people need, so I couldn’t remain silent any longer. So let me just start off with this: no, you do not need an Ostrich Pillow.

Before you even consider how ridiculous this product is, it’s based on an erroneous notion.

It’s named, one assumes, after the ostrich, a giant, flightless bird that, at the first sign of trouble, will bury its head in the sand. Except that’s an old, tired misconception—they don’t really do this.

Good for naps?

The Ostrich Pillow’s big sales point is that naps make people 30% more productive. There may be some truth to that, but here’s what someone napping at their desk with an Ostrich Pillow looks like.

ostrich-pillow-01 — This person does not look 30% more productive.

So maybe you have the type of job that lets you fold paper cranes and 3D shapes at your desk while pretending to work (evidence: blank notebook), but not everyone has that luxury.

No, in fact, some of us have to work with others. And if you use the Ostrich Pillow in front of others at the office, well, you’re probably going to look like an dick and no one will want to work with you.

ostrich-pillow-03 — No one wanted to be put on the same cross-functional team as Joe.

Here’s a statistic I’ll throw out. Using the Ostrich Pillow makes you 100% less observant.

ostrich-pillow-02 — Believe it or not, Bob was surprised when he woke up and his luggage was gone.

So if you’re using this thing, not only will you look like a dork, but your stuff may not be around when you pull your head out of ~~your ass~~ the sand.